{3} Chasing Away The Heavy Heart: DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY

You know how they say, that the little things in life are what make you smile, well I am all for that!

Just for a moment, think back to a time when you were happy, or the simple moments you were happy in. 

Actually, scan through your mind and try to pinpoint activities/actions/events that you remember that had put a smile on your face. There must be something!

In my case, there were two things which would put a smile on my face.

One being reading - even though it did not necessarily mean it made me smile all the time, I can guarantee that when reading a sad book there were definitely moments I had tears streaming down my face. But those were the kind of tears I did not mind.

Another being writing!

So recently, I have tried to make time for these two things, anytime during my week that I can fit them in.

For example, writing this blog post is a way I can just go on and on about anything I want. Sometimes I write a poem, a very random one which probably does not make sense, but oh well, I enjoy writing it so that's what counts.

To make time for reading, I usually do my best to get studying out of the way first so I can just relax with a book, and even spend half a day during the weekend dedicated to reading.

Reading and writing are my little things in life that make me smile.

All you need to do is find your little things in life!

They may range from sewing, sports, drawing, cooking, baking, watching crazy YouTube videos, spending time with family and siblings, photography, drama and many more. 

And it does not even have to be any of those things mentioned above, even smiling at strangers could be enough to make you happy.

Find the little things in life and hold onto them. 

And ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS remember to thank Allah throughout all moments in life. Sometimes we can forget Allah in our happy moments but just work to change that. I am working to change that too.

I hope this post is helpful in some way or another, it's a bit all over the place but as long as it makes sense, all is good! This tip might not be easy for everyone but giving it a go would be awesome.

Till then, we shall all continue to strive. 

Image Source

To read the other posts in this series of sorts, just click on the label at the end of the post that says 'Chasing Away The Heavy Heart'.

Not The Key To My Happiness

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Once upon a time, a person walked into my life.

I cared about them, and I still do care about them to an extent. I can't really place a finger on the emotion that they made/make me feel.

At some points this person made me very happy, and at other points they made my world come crushing down.

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When you give another person the key to your emotions, you are bound to get yourself hurt. And I know this because, I did exactly that. I gave the key away without thinking twice.

I did it unintentionally. But I still did it.

I became dependent at that moment.

I handed over the controls of my happiness to another person, and in the process I ended up being degraded. Frankly, I came to a point where I felt both emotionally and physically degraded.

I depended on this person to help me decide how I was feeling.

And that was my downfall.

The person themselves may not have realised what they were putting me through, the way in which they could pull the strings to my emotions so easily. A better way to explain is that I was much like an on and off switch. When I was 'on', I was overly positive and happy. When I was 'off', I poured negativity.

After a long time of going through with this, I knew it was time to stop. It was time to take back the key which I had unintentionally handed over to another person.

So that is what I did.

Long story short - I got back what was rightfully mine: The key. I was not going to let someone mess around with my emotions anymore.

Moral of the story - The person was NOT THE KEY TO MY HAPPINESS. Simply put, a person cannot truly be the key to my happiness, and in the future I was not going to make the same mistake again. That person who had walked into my life had come as a test, it was my time to realise Whom to turn to for real happiness.

There is only One that can ever truly be trusted with that key and that is Allah. I understood that looking for my happiness on the path to Allah would bring me a peace that worldly things could never. In the times when I was hurting, I would pray that the person in my life would be removed, and each time I would feel relieved after supplicating.

Relieved in the sense that I could turn to Allah and let everything out.

During that time, I had beautiful and amazing friends to help me through. In a way they came as answers to my prayer. They helped me walk through with my solution and made me realise I could get through the worst of it.

Do not ever expect others to make you happy, do what makes YOU happy - and do it without depending on others. It sounds slightly cheesy but it is true.

You are a traveller in this world, a stranger. Just like everyone else. The people around you are there to walk along with you in this journey - but do not expect them to hold you up all the way to your destination.

I wanted to share part of my story because, honestly, I learnt so much - this post is only part of what this person taught me. They taught me things they probably never realised they even did.

I hope to someday walk past them in the streets, and maybe I will smile at them just as a sign of gratitude for what I have learnt from them.

Funny thing is, I have no idea if they would smile back. Maybe, just maybe they will. Maybe I taught them something too.

Allahu A'alam.

Till then, we shall all continue to strive. 

{2} Chasing Away The Heavy Heart: COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS

"Life is prettier when we thank our Lord for what has passed, what has remained, what is to come."

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Some days I wonder why I am not thankful enough for the abundant blessings I have been given in  life.

Every day that I live and breathe is a blessing.

My loved ones are a blessing.

The eyes that I use to see are a blessing.

The ears with which I hear with are a blessing.

The hands and feet I have been given are a blessing.

My existence and everything around me is a blessing.

But when I think about it, I notice that I do not appreciate each and every one of these things enough. I spend so much of my time thinking and complaining about what I do not have that I am completely at loss when I realise that I have been blessed with countless wonders which I do not give a seconds thought to.

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What is Shukr? 

- To be thankful/grateful

- To recognise the generosity and kindness given to us by Allah (swt)

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When times get tough, I forget the blessings of my Lord. I let the pain overtake all the beauty that is around me. The sadness in some way blinds me from seeing the plentiful I have.

How do I remember to be thankful to Allah in my moments of pain?

Those moments where everything seems to be falling apart, what I do is get myself to list on paper my many blessings. You could make this a daily or weekly thing where you note down all the great aspects of your life. You could stick the list up and look at it every so often as a reminder.

Remembering Allah during the day (Dhikr) is another way to always have that constant reminder of your blessings. For example, even something as small as saying the du'a for before you go to sleep is being thankful to Allah. You are remembering that Allah is the only one with the ability to give and take life. That is being thankful!

Even just saying Bismillah and starting an activity in the name of Allah is acknowledging the kindness of your Lord.

بِسْــــــــــــــــــمِ اﷲِالرَّحْمَنِ اارَّحِيم

A positive effect of being grateful in this way is that you are remembering Allah in most moments as well as pushing away the unwanted negative thoughts that want to evade your mind. 

I hope this is another practical way in which you can chase away the heavy heart. Counting your blessings is easy and simple, and there are endless number of things in life to be thankful for. Find them and be appreciative!

Till then, we shall all continue to strive. 

To read the other posts in this series of sorts, just click on the label at the end of the post that says 'Chasing Away The Heavy Heart'.

{1} Chasing Away The Heavy Heart: KEEPING YOURSELF BUSY

وَأَنَّهُ هُوَ أَضْحَكَ وَأَبْكَى 

"...and that it is He alone who causes [you] to laugh and to weep." 

[Surah an-Najm 53:43]

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One thing I seem to find frustrating from time to time is that I can not find solutions to my problems straightaway. I thought maybe I should collate some of ways I attempt to block away sadness so that others can find solutions here.

So I decided to write a string of posts around 'chasing away the heavy heart'.

Instead of just writing about feeling down, I thought it would be much more practical to share how I drive the misery away.

One way in which I chase away the heavy heart is by keeping myself busy.

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Some days are easier to get through than others. I think we all have those days where everything seems to be weighing down on our shoulders, and it seems like too much.

Kind of like drowning.

What a lot of these moments have in common is that we are lonely at the time. It might not be the same for everyone, but I have noticed that with myself. I tend to dwell in sadness when I am alone or am doing nothing.

Well the number one thing to do is, STOP DWELLING OR OVER THINKING.

When I am alone, I get lost in my thoughts.

Over thinking is much like digging a hole and throwing yourself head first into it. I like to think of it as the poison of my mind.

Usually I know I am over thinking and I never do enough to stop it.

The best thing to do is to stop spending so much time in our minds.

But how do you stop spending so much time in that place up there?

By keeping yourself busy!

There are so many different ways to do so.

Some of the things I do include:

- Reading a book: Fiction, non fiction, why not even a revision textbook! Books are good at capturing your mind, it allows you to have time to just indulge in something else other than those sad thoughts that run circles in your head.

- Helping around the house: I have been doing this a lot recently. Tidying up maybe your room or helping out in the kitchen. If I am honest, it's not all that fun at times but I find that if I really put my mind into cleaning, my mind kind of creates a barrier against other thoughts. Not only that, there is a satisfaction to seeing a job well done by yourself.

- Friends: Being around my friends is a fab way to keep myself busy. They never fail to make me smile and they are always there for me when I'm low.

And FINALLY keep yourself busy in general, whether that is helping around at school/work, getting involved in new activities and classes. I am planning to do more of that, getting involved with new things. In'Sha'Allah I can start doing more soon!

I hope this post helps in one way or another, even if you take only one thing from it. I hope to write more posts on chasing away the heavy heart soon.

Till then, we shall all continue to strive.

To read the other posts in this series of sorts, just click on the label at the end of the post that says 'Chasing Away The Heavy Heart'.

My New Beginning

"Verily with every hardship comes ease"

[Surah Inshirah 94: 5]

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In life, you try and try till there comes a time where you are stripped to nothing but your weary bones. You've somehow stumbled and fallen to the lowest of the low, lower than low can possibly go. Desperately, you search for a single crack worth clinging onto. The one thing that is your reason for breathing.

Breathing in and breathing out - Inhale and exhale. Searching for what keeps that pattern going.

Where is hope? Where is faith? What are you living for?

There is nothing you see that will help you regain balance. Not a single strand of lifeline. You watch as the spiking lines on the heart rate monitor begin to lose momentum. So weak at this point, barely pulsing, barely breathing, and barely alive.

You imagine the moment the beep beep sound becomes only a single elongated note. Only a never ending line of nothingness visible.

No heartbeat. No lifeline. No cracks to cling onto any more.

The world will fade and turn to darkness. You will be no more. You will have departed - and there will be no ticket back to this world.

It'll be too late.

It'll be too late to realise that Allah is your only hope, Allah is the one you should put all faith in. You live to only worship Him alone.

Do not let hardship make you forget so.

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I created this blog for myself, and in some sense to help me find my way. Words have always been my form of output, especially writing. So I wanted to do something I love, in this case writing, but also teach myself about my religion, expand my knowledge, all the while finding ways to ward off sadness.

This dunya is ever-so tempting, but I am going to attempt to push it away.

At some point in the past few years, I lost my way to Allah. I lost the focus of my life. And I noticed, along with that came overwhelming moments of sadness. But now I want to work towards shaking that off.

I want this to be a way to strengthen my love for Allah, to strengthen my Deen, and also be a continuous reminder to never fall into the trap of depression.

If Allah wills it, I can do this.

I am learning from my mistakes. I am learning from my losses. I want to always be learning.

With all my heart, I make du'a for beautiful things to come out from actually using this blog. I pray that myself, and the rest of the Ummah is rightly guided. In'sha'Allah we can all find the strength and courage within ourselves to be better.

Till then, we shall all continue to strive.

السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ 

May the peace, mercy, and blessings of Allah be with you.