Tuesday 28 January 2014

Random Musings Of A Girl Finding Her Way: Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn.


I have this weird 'thing' for personal mantras. I really like mantras - REALLY like them. I think it might be because I spend a lot of time in my head and I am constantly pep talking myself. Mantras always come in handy!

A mantra worth keeping in mind:
"Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn."

This quote strikes home.

I always find myself to be the loser in situations. It is more to do with the fact that I think and feel that I am the loser - it does not have to be someone directly pointing me out as the loser.

This usually results in regret.

Deeply ingrained regret over whatever happened.

Then comes the 'what ifs' and imagining scenarios as to how else I could have handled the situation without ending up as the 'loser'.

But what if I am not the loser?

Not everyone can be the winner. There has to be losers.

Though maybe 'losers' is not the word I should use. Maybe 'learners' is a much more positive word.

Even if a situation does not go your way, or you lose out on an opportunity, or you make mistakes - know that you are not a loser, you are simply a learner.

Everything can be learnt from. There is no point regretting. Keep learning and learning. Just call it a learning curve. Each lesson learnt will make you stronger in character - obviously if you learn from the mistake in the first place.

Take it all into your stride.

From now on I need to stop regretting, and get learning. It may make a massive difference.

"Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn."

Let's all be better than the 'losers' that truly lose, and instead be 'losers' that learn.

-----()-----

Tuesday 21 January 2014

5 Things I Wish I Knew At The Start Of My Teen Years


-----()-----



I still have a few more of my teen years left to get through, and I actually do not want them to end anytime soon.

But there are definitely some things I wish someone had told me about being a teenager beforehand.

Any sort of warning would have been good!

Well, I can also say that the experiences I've been through have enlightened me in so many ways that it gives you this feeling that you can take on anything. Maybe not anything, but ya know, stronger in an emotional sense.

Anyway, onto the main post...5 things I wish someone had told me at the start of my teen years:

1. People come and go:

I think this applies to everyone generally and not just teens. People will come into your life, you will care about them, they will mean something to you, but before you know it, you begin to drift and they have somehow become a complete stranger to you. It happens, it always does. Just don't let yourself dwell on it too much.

Also, during this time you will gain and lose friends. Some stay, some go - again, this just needs to be accepted and never let yourself hurt over it too much.

2. Do not listen to the haters:

This does not mean literal haters (that would be scary). There will be people who will talk crap about you, but DO NOT let it get to you. I cannot explain the number of times I have over-thought something negative someone has said about me. People will say things - but guess what, people always do and they are not worth it AT ALL, especially if it is said to purposefully cause you pain.

People can be mean, words hurt, but build a wall against it - ain't nobody got time for negativity!

3. Smile through the pain:

I cannot count to you the number of times I have sat in my bedroom and thought things like 'I hate everything and everyone', 'I don't want to do this stupid school work', 'why is my life sooo difficult' and a whole load of other ridiculous and irrational thoughts (I kind of still do, but MUCH less.)

No matter how tough things get, giving up makes it worse, because as soon as you do so, every burden falls onto your shoulders heavier than before, and this time it will keep growing.

Work through it one step at a time, find support to get you through it because sometimes it's difficult to tackle problems on your own. And sometimes, stop for a second while you're in your negative trance and think things through logically:

     Number 1 = IS YOUR PROBLEM SOLVABLE?
     Number 2 = TAKE MENTAL NOTES ON HOW ON EARTH YOU CAN SOLVE IT.
     Number 3 = TAKE ACTION AND MAKE THE CHANGE (I used to be lacking in this step but I'm working for my betterment!)
     Number 4 = MAYBE YOUR PROBLEM IS SIMPLY JUST AN OVERREACTION (this is me ALL THE TIME, 80% of my so called problems were simply silly when I think back to them now.)

4. Grab the opportunities that come your way!

This is one I regret not doing enough of in the early years, but I am trying to do that now. There are skills I could have worked on that would have helped me in this moment in time. Maybe trying out debate club which could have helped with public speaking, learning first aid, trying out a new sport for fun and a whole lot more.

And FINALLY...

5. You are YOU:

Please don't try to be a copy of someone else or waste time trying to be like everyone else. There will be people that you will click with and others you won't. It's pointless changing yourself for others, cause trust me, it takes a whole lot of effort to change.

I have been there, done that. I hope to never do that again.

And make choices for yourself, do not let others.

You should definitely be calling the shots in your own life.

-----()-----

Right now I'm really tempted to write a hundred more things, but I am sure this will get boring. However, I think I'll add a few quick and short side notes.

- Work hard but ENJOY yourself, create a balance so that you're not that wild chick that doesn't bother turning up for lessons.

- Build confidence in yourself.

- Discover what you love, definitely EXPLORE.

- Leaving things till the last minute is not such a good idea.

-----()-----

I have gone on and on enough so I shall stop. I hope this is enlightening though, and is in anyway helpful.

Most of all, remember to make memories during your teen years, you want to look back and think how awesome it was back then.

See you in the next post!

Till then continue to strive.

Wednesday 1 January 2014

2014: A Letter To Myself

Dear Myself a.k.a Me,

A whole new year awaits...

2014

The mantra for the transition from 2013 to 2014 has to be this quote:


Time to start a new chapter - and you know what, maybe this next chapter will be much better than ALL the previous chapters!

2013 has been a massive learning curve and a time of many firsts, many mistakes, and much weirdness. 

Now it is time to learn from every challenge faced, every mistake made. 

 → Notes to Self: 
  • ALWAYS BE THANKFUL TO ALLAH - for the good and the bad!

  • Prioritise, Prioritise, and Prioritise - or else you will start forgetting about what really matters, and what your ultimate goals are.

  • Spend time discovering the beauty of Islam.

  • Dwelling on the past is a BIG NO NO - Nobody got time for that!

  • REMEMBER that YOU are good enough - do not spend forever comparing yourself to everyone else.

  • The key to your happiness should stay in your ownership - NO ONE should be able to take it away or mess around with it

  • NO REGRETS - everything happens for a reason so do not get caught up in 'what ifs' and all that crazy jazz.

  • Put 100% effort into your work and you will see results - Procrastination (ANOTHER BIG NO NO)

  • Go into 2014 with a positive outlook

  • I can guarantee that there will be many more 'notes to self' popping up throughout 2014 - make sure to take note!


I hope for a chapter filled with happiness, love, care, friendship, devotion to Allah, discovering, learning, AND SO MUCH MORE In'sha'Allah. Ameen.

Lots of Love, 

The 2013 Me