{5} Chasing Away The Heavy Heart: EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY

I did not want to write much for this post. I think the quote above speaks volumes, equivalent to a million words I could end up writing if I wanted to.

It can get hard to visualise that things will get better when everything is far from okay.

Maybe you could save the quote above and put it up as your phone screen saver or background. Just a reminder - that you will be fine, just give it time.

It Is Okay Not To Be Okay.

Sometimes you just need to admit that you are not okay.

It really is okay not to be okay.

Some will say it is a weakness - to not be okay. That 'to not be okay' shows you up as weak minded or not strong enough emotionally and mentally.

But we were not made with hearts of stone, or created immune to pain. There is a reason so many of us break.

It is because we can break, there is that possibility of us breaking.

We may not choose to be unhappy.

Unfortunately sadness does come along. Sometimes unhappiness jumps out from the unlikeliest corners, allowing you in no way to prepare for the worst. Other times you feel it descend on you, slowly weighing you down.

Before you know it, you are not okay anymore.

But - know that it is not the end of the world.

Allah sends a person hardship as a test. No matter how unfair it may seem to you, keep in mind that Allah only wants what is best for you. I tend to forget this, I fail to remember that the difficulties in life are there for a reason.

While you are 'not okay', some people seem to lose faith and hope, and I do understand their perspective, that they feel something happening to them is unjust or they feel their prayers are going unanswered.

For me though, not having that faith that something better is to come or losing trust in Allah has never been something I have ever considered before. Honestly, it is my trust and faith that always got me through.

We may shatter into a million pieces, but we can heal. The heavy heart will come but you will need to chase it away.

You cannot expect ease to come unless you actually do something to achieve it. You cannot simply sit around waiting for it (however in some cases that may be the only solution).

Life can be an utter mess, but if you take small steps you will get out of the mess.

If you need to cry - cry.

If you want someone to talk to - find them and talk.

It is okay not to be okay, because it gets better.

I promise you there is one way or another that you can pull yourself out from all the rubble you have found yourself under. I promise.

{4} Chasing Away The Heavy Heart: THE PAST SHOULD SIMPLY STAY IN THE PAST

"THE PAST SHOULD SIMPLY STAY IN THE PAST"

I am rubbish at taking this piece of advice strongly enough.

40% of my thoughts are based on dwelling on my past and the future.

A complete waste of time.

I thought maybe I should compile a list of steps for myself as a reminder that the PAST is called the PAST for a reason.

"Past"

adj

1. Gone by in time and no longer existing.
2. No longer current; gone by; over.
3. Having existed or occurred in an earlier time.

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My (hopefully helpful to myself at the very least) list of ways to stop yourself dwelling on the past:

• Remind yourself that no matter how many times you think over past memories you cannot change them. They are done. Finished. Over. A closed chapter.

• Write it down - grab a piece of paper and a pen and let the words flow. Sometimes I have noticed that writing things down gives a sense of closure, that you are set free from the past because it is no longer in your head but rather safely down on paper.

I can also guarantee you that if you give poetry a shot in those moments, you will end up with a masterpiece of a poem that you will be proud to have written.

• Remember that everything that happens is in your Qadr, it was predestined, so do not kick yourself over it - just learn.

• As mentioned in a previous post, keep yourself busy!

• Try to work out why you are still dwelling on the past. Is it because you have left a problem unresolved? Why not try to fix it. Is it something someone has said to upset you? Or has there been a misunderstanding? If there is a solution to the dwelling, go ahead with it. Better than drowning yourself in it.

• Think positive - At the end of the day, you are the one in control of yourself, you are the only one that can decide if you want to be happy or not. You decide if you want to dwell on the past or not. Your choice. 

• Tell yourself 'enough is enough' - when you find yourself over-thinking the past, you need to be able to put a stop to it straightaway. Being mentally strong e.g. thinking positively, will help you put an end to the dwelling.  

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Obviously everyone spends some time stressing over past events and so forth, you just have to know when it is becoming unhealthy if for example, you are spending endless nights awake over it. But you should definitely know that there is always someone who will listen to you if you need to let it out, and if not I totally encourage putting it down in words.

Let's hope that I take this advice on board fully or else I am being absolutely no help to myself, got to always keep striving till the end!

P.S. I like how the above quote puts things into perspective, that today is what really matters, the 'now' is when you can make the changes you want to make, and that the past cannot be remade in any way.